Super Fruit

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls Introducing the Most Amazing Super Fruit!!!

DRAGON FRUIT

This fruit is absolutely amazing, no joke. I love this shit like crazy. Not only does it taste delish, but the health benefits that come with it are very appetizing.

  1. Antioxidants: This baby is full of them. It aides in preventing illnesses entering into your body.
  2. It fights against cancer and asthma. In fact, if you consume this fruit daily you will notice a change with your asthma. And that change is a positive one, I assure you.
  3. Like, carrots it can improve your eyesight. I’m not saying if you’re blind you’ll suddenly see the light, but I think you get the picture.
  4. Great for your bones and teeth. Lots of calcium!
  5. It can heal your body quicker. For example, eating dragon fruit daily, can allow your body to mend cuts and bruises quicker.
  6. For you friends, who else stress about your weight. EAT THIS! It can decrease your weight/weight gain.
  7. Great for your skin! It’s practically a moisturizer!
  8. Gives your energy.
  9. High blood pressure will decrease.
  10. It’s fushia! That’s a pretty colour.

Honestly, like most things I can go on and on. But I won’t. If this doesn’t make your want try out this super fruit, than you are sick. And if you ate this fruit, you wouldn’t be.

Ciao!

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5 Tips For The Ladies: Men

  • Men prefer ladies to be healthy, no coke whores,and definitely no MacDonald’s regulars. I’m not saying a little junk in the trunk ain’t okay, don’t hide your lady lumps or stress over a few wrinkles here and there. Just remember beauty is from the inside out, a healthy mind=healthy body. A girl with confidence, means she won’t be nagging him 24/7 and trust me, guys appreciate it greatly.
  • Boys love their mama’s, they do! Let them love them, and understand that they will be a part of your life no matter what. Ain’t nothing we can do about it.
  • Believe it or not, men are huge Gossips. HUGE! Ever watch Gossip Girl? When the damn show was finally over the “Gossip Girl” in the end was non other than a dude! FOR REALS!!! You tell a bloke one thing and before you know it everyone in town knows about it. I swear they are worse then women.
  • Never hurt his ego. Face it, males are egotistical man-droids. Let their head inflate to it’s capacity and let it air out slowly. Also try, to give them compliments about their accomplishments (i.e promotions, etc.)
  • Push those fuckers! They have high aspirations and goals, but you literally have to kick their asses, to get them to achieve them.

Um, that is all for now….

I Farted First

Let’s talk about a natural reaction of the body.

F A R T I N G !

(I know right, what else does Caitlin have to do on a early morning on a Thursday other than talk about farts)

Here are my thoughts:

DON’T be embarrassed. It’s natural.Get over it. Everyone does it. Whether they are alone or not. Hell, even after death people have been known to let one go, but hey if we weren’t meant to fart, we never would be farting in the first place.

DON’T hold it in. Not a good move. Not only is it bad for your body, but you can totally shit your pants do to stomach pain. Them farts can be deadly man (not literally).


DON’T hide them. You! Over there in the corner, lifting up their leg. $100 guess you are not just admiring the wallpaper. You may think we don’t know what you are doing, but we do, we all do.

DON’T deny it. There is nothing worse than being stuck in an elevator with one other person, smelling a whiff of their gassy juice.

ME: “Hey, did you just fart?”

FARTER: “No….”

SERIOUSLY! There are only two people in here and I know sure as hell I did not do it. Even if I complimented you on your fart, “good one man”, don’t deny it. I know it was you. If i farted in the street or grocery store (which I do quite often) and someone complimented me on my air monkey, I’d be damn proud of it. “That’s right, it was all mine”

The last three relationships I was in, I the first one to fart. (Come to think of it that’s probably why two of them ended.) I wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed, I figured if I let one rip before them, they could relax and loosen up more, and not get all wrapped up in their heads about trying to hold in their own anal emissions.

There is absolutely nothing wrong about the bottom burp. I’m not saying rip one out when you meet Justin Bieber, or the Prime Minister or whoever. But just be aware, that it’s okay to fart. Think: “Caitlin supports me farting”

Everybody FARTS! Also! Everybody shits and masterbates. (Topics to be spoken about in a later blog.)

DON’T YOU DENY IT! 

If I farted first, you can too!

5 REASONS TO: Zumba! Zumba!

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I’m in love with a thing called ZUMBA!

  1. Full body workout. And when I say full, I mean FULL! You work your legs, gluts, abs, arms, hips, feet…your jumping, sweating, swinging, flying and it completely get’s your heart rate up!
  2. It’s a full on PARTAY! Honestly, everyone is in their own groove, dancing their hearts out. Adding their own style and ‘tude to the movements.
  3. ANYONE AND EVERYONE CAN ZUMBA! Like any fitness class the steps are modified from beginner to advance. But DO NOT let this discourage you. Beginner’s can sweat just as much as Advance.
  4. The music is killer! After a few classes once you know the routine, anytime you here a song on the radio, in the elevator, grocery store you will naturally ZUMBA! My little promise to you.
  5. CALORIES, calories and did I say calories? Because you are constantly moving for the better part of an hour, your body is burning more calories. You can burn up to 800 calories!!! Now that’s a weight loss plan that’s a PARTAY

My Top 3 Favourite Beverages

  1. Green Tea: Why? Not only is it absolutely de-lish! BUT…. It increases one’s metabolism (HELLO LADIES AND GENTS increased metabolism=WEIGHTLOSS). For all of you who are in denial of the aging process your denial can go on longer BECAUSE…. green tea is great for the skin. It can smooth out the lines and help with aging. Antioxidants are great, aren’t they? ‘They’ve’ even done studies where applying green tea to the skin can reduce the signs of sun damage. Now, as a sun lover myself, all summer long green tea is at my side. (Along with a margarita or two). Although I am not diabetic, those of you who are, green tea can regulate glucose levels, which is excellent because it slows down blood sugar levels after a meal. It can protect our brain cells, (my boyfriend should probably drink more green tea {note to self}). Okay, I could honestly go on and on about how wonderful green tea is (hmm-maybe I’ll write a blog about it) HOWEVER I will end on one good note about green tea. Think about this, it has been used for medicinal purposes for years! And when I say years I mean like hundreds. Therefore green tea is awesome balls in my books!
  2. Water: Why? Like green tea, your metabolism is increased! It detoxifies your body, helps our body absorb and transfer more nutrients and oxygen. Your body depends on some H20! The brain is 90% water! Don’t drink enough water, then you are stupid, and your are so because you didn’t drink enough water.
  3. Milk: Why? Picture a balloon. Now picture a balloon without air. Yup. That’s right folks, us with milk we deflate into nothingness. No, not really, but you get the point. Milk helps with bone density, bone density is bone strength. I don’t know about you, but I do not want to suffer osteoporosis, nor do I want to snap in half or brake down after I hit the big 3 0! Milk is also awesome to bathe in, not because it tingles and feels like you are swimming in a cloud, but because it’s like water and green tea and is great for the skin. Also VITAMINS, so many vitamins are in milk is outrageous!!!! Vitamin A, D, B12, calcium, potassium, protien!!! Yup milk is pretty stella. And hey, there is nothing sexier than a milk stash. Mmmmmm milk.

Alrighty folks that is my top three beverages, what are yours? I know, some of you who read this will say, Seriously Cait? No beer! No Pop! Well, no…I love em, but I tried bathing in beer, ya not great for the skin. Mmmmm beer…..