Cait’s Q & A

Recently, as in yesterday, I asked all you muggles to ask questions that you would like me to answer. I got some of the the nitty gritty, the deep philosophical ones, the I can’t believe it’s not chicken ones, and just plain WTF questions. Thanks Morons, I love you all! Now, let us begin.

What is your life’s motto? Plain and simple. Just breathe. Breathing is an essential part of living, not just for us: for everything. I find breathing allows your to relax and release (both mind and body). Breathing allows you to take that next step, leap and risk. It get’s you through the days. It guides your endurance and strength. So, my friends if I have anything to say to you all it’s Just Breathe.

N E X T !!!

If life would be a tree, where would you be on it, and what would you be? Um, a stump and tick. NEXT QUESTION! Just kidding! Okay, if life was a tree I would living somewhere towards the edge of the branches, where leaves grow and fall with the seasons. On this tree I would be a leaf because they never die. I would fall onto to the ground during the autumn days, but leave my leafy imprints on the ground. I would embrace the blanket of snow, let the earth take me whole and return in the spring on the tree. The Tree of Life (clever how I fit that phrase in eh?)

N E X T !!!

Which elements represent your personality? (I.E. fire, stones, air, wood, steel etc…) I would like to be wood. Why? You burn me, I’ll keep you warm, you cut me down, I’ll build for you, protect you, plus I’m hard always (you boys know what I’m talking about). I could mount a flag, be your spear, hold your belongings, maintain electricity. Being wood I could be apart of hazel, beech, cedar, oak, cherry, I could be part of any and every tree.

HOWEVER, what I would like to be isn’t what I believe my personality to be. I believe my personality best represents water. I just go with the flow, ya know? I feel I am a bit mysterious like the ocean, but I also hold strength and endurance like the rivers. I’m also very honest and forthcoming, water eventually brings things to the surface, the shore. Like ME!

N E X T !!!

How old is your soul? OLD! I’m pretty sure my souls been around the block a few times if you know what I mean.

N E X T !!!

What is my first memory? My very first memory: I was young, not sure how old, but I was still in a crib. I had a terrible, terrible dream, which I oddly still remember ’til this day. When I woke up from this dream I was screaming and crying and shaking the bars of the crib (now I know how convicts feel, granted these piss wipes deserve a cage, usually). Anyways, as I was flipping out my dad comes in. Big, native, guy. Seemed like a giant to me at the time, came in the room, did not turn on the light and said “CAIT! BE QUIET! And with that I shut the fuck up and went to bed. It was a magical moment.

N E X T !!!

What does “I get it, French Class!” really mean? Now, this is an inside joke with the fam. And honestly I never knew the true meaning until mother dearest asked this. When I was a kid this question was equivalent to the joke Why’s a hen? Because it can’t climb a tree (Yeah, figure that one out). But to answer this question directly, it means French (kissing) class.

N E X T !!!

What is your biggest secret? I am a gay man, trapped in a women’s body. But x’ay on the bum sex’ay.

N E X T !!!

What influence did dance have on your life? It is a huge influence in my life. Dance is story and mine isn’t finished yet. (To be fully answered in a later blog).

N E X T !!!

Have you every taken a poo and thought it was so big you had to take a peek to see if it was poking out of the water? Okay, I need to answer this baby in point form.

  • Whether I think my shit is huge or not, I take a look. I ALWAYS take a peek, that way I can mentally prepare for the wipe.
  • I am secretly afraid when I feel a shit is so huge and I take a look and it’s gone. (Ghost poops).
  • I’ve had shit that coils, shit that mushes, looks like pellets, and shit that sticks out of the bowl. I’ve had green, purple, brown. Shit that’s steamy, smells like bum stink and what I call Shit Eu Du Toilet.
  • Basically, I’ve taken a shit or two in my day.
  • If it feels tiny, or big I always take a look with the hopes it’s peaking out of the water, looking back at me.

N E X T !!!

What is MMMbop? A mistake.

Thanks for all the questions friends! Hope you enjoyed this Q & A, as much as I did. Granted, I’ve had better!

Mahalo!

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