Freebee #5

I’ve been in a relationship now for almost 5 years. Come July 6th, me and my honey will be able to do something I look forward to every anniversary! No it’s not bumping naughty bits or actually celebrating the day with ‘togetherness’ and all the couply mushy shit, This is something far more greater, far more necessary, it’s adding another celebrity Freebee to our list! CAN’T WAIT! I know, I know, like I’ll ever be able to diddle Ewan McGregor’s light saber or have Adam Carolla drop a digit on me, but hey a girl can dream can’t she.

Now here’s my problem. Every year we add another freebee to our list, but I am troubled with who to choose. Nothing else matters in the world right now people! I need to figure out who my new celebrity freebee will be 2 months from now before the world can continue living.

First, I think it’s best I share my list thus far.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (AKA Ewan McGregor). Since Moulin Rouge I’ve fallen in love with this man and have not been able to escape it. He’s sexy, climbed out of the dirtiest toilet in Scotland, he can sing, he can move, he is in naked in half the films he makes, plus STAR WARS! HELLO! I was so obsessed with this man in high school, I made myself a marriage certificate where I hyphenated my last name with his, I wrote his name all over my binder and seriously considered getting a tattoo in a discrete location so that one day when we would meet, he would know I was his (or run the fuck in the other direction).

Conan O’Brien. This ginger gets me going. I don’t know if it’s because he’s funny as fuck or he has legs for days and make jeggings look reasonable. Sure, I would probably only measure up to his waist, but hey most men appreciate that, guys would rather have a girl head to head opposed to face to face. 

Jason Bateman: He’s adorable! He does great films, not in the public eye too much, definitely handsome and funny! I’m telling ya, boys that make me laugh deserve to be in my life just as much as I deserve to be in theirs! Fuck, I love funny people.

Adam Carolla: This Ace man is saucy, sexy(mainly because he doesn’t know he is), he actually works, he is a racist/set in his ways (although I just see it as honesty) and he complains about everything. I used to think I hated complainers and couldn’t stand them worth shit, but when Carolla does it he’s worth a shit or two. 

Now who to add next too my list! SO MANY CHOICE!

I really admire Seth MacFarlane! He’s easy on the eyes, can sing, dance, funny and you know he has got to have a huge tube steak!

Patrick Warburton you may not recognize his name, but you will recognize his voice. It’s deep, low, and sound like a black man pretending to be white. Any man, who has a voice like that makes me melt in more ways than one. He’s also a big guy, who could carry me like a princess, that is a bonus!

Finally the last person I’m seriously considering to be in the running is Zac Efron. Please understand this is a more of a eye candy thing, no substance. He might be funny, might be funny, I don’t fucking know, I don’t even know the guy. He’s body says he could slam me in a mattress and that is all I need.

Thoughts friends? I would ask my boyfriend for assistance, but the fact he has Anne Hathaway and Laura Linney on his list doesn’t make me want his input!



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