If you have been a frequent reader of my blogs, you should know by now that I am quite the list maker. I don’t only do this on a blog basis, but on other occasions too (Christmas and well no other ones come to mind).
Anyways, I’ve decided to officially write out my SHIT LIST! And what you can do to not get on it!
You see, I’m quite a forgiving person, I don’t hold grudges, (I know, I know it is not your typical female trait, but I’m not your typical female). You see folks, either it’s the simplest thing that will get you on my SHIT LIST or it can take quite the effort to get on my personal SHIT LIST! But once you are on it, you are fucking on it. LIFE SENTENCE!
- BACK SEAT GAMING: Now, I’m quite forgiving during these moments, for the most part. You start hollering out your damn advice when I’m shooting zombies, Argonians or whatever the fuck, I will tell you once, twice and three times to shut the front door! I find myself to be quite generous in this matter as I know for some gamers, it is very difficult to keep the trap closed when another gamer is playing out some action. BUT! You continue, you just earned a fucking achievement on my SHIT LIST! CONGRATULATIONS!
- COMPLIMENT FISHERS: These insecure pussies, are the fuck wads always looking for compliments. I’ve come across quite a few of these broads (and it’s unfortunate that most of them are broads). Now, I wouldn’t say being a compliment fisher will get you to the top of my SHIT LIST, nor will it get you on it first time round. But if you become that person, constantly looking for my approval and trying to seek out compliments it ain’t going to happen. What will happen is probably something not so confidence-boosting spewing from my lips and a spot on my SHIT LIST!
- BAIL OUTS: These folks are compulsive bailers. You make plans, they bail. Now this isn’t a once in a while thing, it’s all the time or at least happens so often you simply cannot rely on this person. If they want me to put a bogus star right by their name on my SHIT LIST all they have to do is cancel the day of something or give me their word they’ll be there and decide to be elsewhere in the end or coming up with some bullshit excuse.Sorry, those damn excuses do not work on me, I fucking used half of them myself. You tell me you have a cold, fuck you it’s a damn cold not the clap! You tell me someone died, well that’s unfortunate but you didn’t so get you fucking ass over here. This spot on my SHIT LIST, sorry no bail outs.
- SKIDS: These people are skid-fucking-marks to this planet. All they are is a useless fucking stain that God wipes his ass with. They don’t shower, so that means they are dirtied up pretty good and they smell like a rotting ass. It’s revolting! I get it, we all don’t have the luxuries of fresh water and a loofah, but you all don’t have the luxury of being with me either. You dirty skiddies hike your way down my path, I’m writing your name on my SHIT LIST with the filth you roll in.
- GOD: Pretty self-explanatory. He’s been on my SHIT LIST since ’87. We go way back.
- OATH BREAKERS: These people are the next level bail outs. There crimes are more severe because the promises the make they can’t keep. This would be equivalent to a doctor deciding not to show up to deliver a baby. It’s bad folks! You do not want me to find out you are one of these people. In times of need and importance they don’t show. You can’t trust them to show up anything. Hell it’s a gamble if they show up for their own freak’n birthdays. These people earn a high ranking on my SHIT LIST, and that is I promise I can make!
- MASQUERADERS: These people can’t make up their mind who or what they are. What they do is take traits from people they know or admire and mimic them. I find these people to be annoying and insecure. I’ve encounter one Masquerader and she has been on my SHIT LIST for years. I would tell interests I had and the next day she would give me a play by play of her night video gaming and painting Monet. She would purchase similar perfume and could not wait for out crimson rivers to flow in unison. Sick and fucked up this Masquerader was. Ugh…gives me chills just thinking about it.
- BITCHES: Sorry ladies, it’s just by default everyone who wears a cunt is on it. But this gives you a chance to get off it. I’ve mentioned in previous blogs how I just naturally have a guard up around women (and no it’s not because I like the puss-puss, thank you Dr.GOFUCKYOURSELF). I just find it’s easier for me to converse with the cock and shoot the shit. Cracking wise with bitches isn’t so easy, don’t get me wrong there a some funny gals out there, but I find 75% of the time when I am trying to socialize with them girls they take it personally and the cattiness comes out. (I don’t intend to continue on this banter so…) REGARDLESS! Bitches you are on there now, but it’s easy-peasy to come of my SHIT LIST. Hell, 5$ would go a long way if you want off it! Fuck, if you own yourself a pair of piss flaps and are reading this now you are off my SHIT LIST! Congratulations! Here is a cookie!
So there are more reasons to get on my SHIT LIST, like cupping a fart, or giving me a wet willy. BUT! I can’t reveal all of these things other wise, you guys would all smarten-up and I wouldn’t have a SHIT LIST, which could in turn potentially put you on a SHIT LIST FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T FUCK WITH ME THEREFORE ARE ON A NON_SHIT SHIT LIST! Or something to the tune of that.
Let me know how people can earn a spot on your SHIT LIST, or at least let me know how I can.