So being a lady, straight up I have issues. Like all people in the world no matter the race, sex, species and what have you we all got problems. Today I shall share with you my girl problems, which I am sure, if not all, most females can relate too.
- Breaking in a new pair of high heels, never fun.
- Breaking in a new pair of anything is never fun (unless it’s the bed).
- Once a month dilemma: do I by a bundle pack of tampons from Costco for 5$ made out of cardboard by hard-knocked little orphans in Kuwait, or do I just TP this months wave?
- Getting drinks at a bar: Do my boobie go over the counter, or under?
- The days when you want your girls to be free, but the weather says it’s just not in your cards.
- Justin Beiber: Makes me embarrassed to be a woman….wait….is JB a she?
- When guys hair is longer than mine. Unless you are a wizard or some bad ass native warrior then SNIP SNIP.
- When it’s that time of the month: Do you remain celibate for that time period and just resort to whipping yourself of your sins or do you let the bloke ride the crimson wave with you.
- Snorting when I laugh.Now I don’t know if this is one that I personally have or if this affects all women.
- Thongs: Not always a win-win Especially since it’s call butt floss for a reason.
- Waterproof mascara! Don’t come off in the rain please, but please come off in the shower.
- Realizing that some guys aren’t your friends anymore once you get a boyfriend.
- I own a pair of B34’s therefore, I do have balls and they are bigger than any man’s they are just located on my chest.
- Adjustable shower heads are a girls best friend.
- Sweatpants Saturday to Sunday.
- Yoga Pants Mondays to Fridays.
- Most orgasms start off as fake, gets them boys going and working harder, which in turn….voila….we see the light!
- The fear that one day a human baby will possibly emerge clawing from my womb as I lie in a medical bed strapped down wishing I’d have been drugged up on herbal remedies.
- The loathing of your period coming.
- The fear of your period not coming.
- Tender Boobies.
Alas, sadly this is only a few of the lady problems I currently face.
Please say I am not alone ladies.