My Lady Problems

So being a lady, straight up I have issues. Like all people in the world no matter the race, sex, species and what have you we all got problems. Today I shall share with you my girl problems, which I am sure, if not all, most females can relate too.

  • Breaking in a new pair of high heels, never fun.
  • Breaking in a new pair of anything is never fun (unless it’s the bed).kgrhqyokjqe1y9eds0bnkpi80cgq_3
  • Once a month dilemma: do I by a bundle pack of tampons from Costco for 5$ made out of cardboard by hard-knocked little orphans in Kuwait, or do I just TP this months wave?
  • Getting drinks at a bar: Do my boobie go over the counter, or under?
  • The days when you want your girls to be free, but the weather says it’s just not in your cards.
  • Justin Beiber: Makes me embarrassed to be a woman….wait….is JB a she?
  • When guys hair is longer than mine. Unless you are a wizard or some bad ass native warrior then SNIP SNIP.
  • When it’s that time of the month: Do you remain celibate for that time period and just resort to whipping yourself of your sins or do you let the bloke ride the crimson wave with you.
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  • Snorting when I laugh.Now I don’t know if this is one that I personally have or if this affects all women.
  • Thongs: Not always a win-win Especially since it’s call butt floss for a reason.
  • Waterproof mascara! Don’t come off in the rain please, but please come off in the shower.
  • Realizing that some guys aren’t your friends anymore once you get a boyfriend.
  • I own a pair of B34’s therefore, I do have balls and they are bigger than any man’s they are just located on my chest.
  • CRAMPS!!!!!
  • Adjustable shower heads are a girls best friend.
  • Sweatpants Saturday to Sunday.
  • Yoga Pants Mondays to Fridays.
  • Most orgasms start off as fake, gets them boys going and working harder, which in turn….voila….we see the light!
  • Chocolate….mmmmm….chocolate…5ho5abscpjftgugj5dr9
  • PMS!
  • The fear that one day a human baby will possibly emerge clawing from my womb as I lie in a medical bed strapped down wishing I’d have been drugged up on herbal remedies.
  • The loathing of your period coming.
  • The fear of your period not coming.
  • Tender Boobies.

Alas, sadly this is only a few of the lady problems I currently face.

Please say I am not alone ladies.

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