I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE YA’LL! I know, it’s been quite some frikk’n time since I’ve written a sweet little bloggy blog, and believe you me I have tons and tons of blogs coming your way. But A N Y W A Y S!
The announcement is…. … … … … …
I’M HAVING A BABY!!! Don’t worry your little hearts out, I’m not talking about shitting out a kid. FUCK!!!!!!NO!!!! I’m talking about owning a canine cuddle buddy!!! YAH!
So here’s the story…
For quite some time now I have been eager to expand my family. Now, I’m too selfish of a gal right now to birth a being and I would rather keep my body tight like a tiger so to speak… My man is allergic to cats so that was a no go, especially since he already puts up with our feisty lil feline, Olive. So a dog seemed to be a perfect fit. Now, I have been wanting a dog for quite some time, but I had financial obligations as well as other life priorities. Not, too mention the man was never on the same band wagon with the idea.
HOWEVER….until recently my man has agreed to my doggy ploy and I couldn’t be happier. (That’s a lie…I totally could….ANYWAYS)
Now, as you probably know, my main squeeze and I have quite a few differences (I prefer chess/he prefers checkers, I like vanilla/he’s more chocolate, I like fruits/he likes vegetables, he likes to smell like a fruit/ I like a musky smell…just to name a few things). So when it comes to dog tastes, he prefers medium sized, clean, groomed and rather neat. I prefer big, slobbery, lovable giants!!!
So being in a long-term relationship I’ve learnt that compromise is a BIG thing. That being said….I’VE SETTLED ON A ………….. …………. ……….. …………. …………ST. BERNARD!
Yup, that’s right, the BIG, SLOBBERY, LOVABLE GIANT!! Roll over BEETHOVEN!!
You could imagine my man’s reaction: “Cait! Out of all the dogs in the world, I finally say yes to one and you have to get the biggest, dirtiest most slobbery dog around!?!” UM HELLO! DUH! IF I’M GETTING A DOG, I’M GOING ALL OUT MAN, LEGIT!
So he asked for my reasoning, and aside from me just not wanting to surprise the shit out of him:
1. BIG, lovable, beasts
2. Gentle GIANTS! Our cat Olive is a little carpet lion. She’s still feral and hates anything that isn’t me. She could kill a chihuahua with just one BAP. I swear I’ve literally come home to see this feisty little tabby in the moonlight, sharpening her claws. St. Bernard’s, being the ginormous friendly giant will make Olive think twice about trying to scalp him, plus even if she does try St. Bernard’s don’t give a fuck. They’ll let the little beast go to town with no care.
5. This dog is known for carrying whisky barrels around it’s neck. SAVIOR! Any dog that can hold a brewsky while I go on my nightly stroll, sounds good to me in my books.
Honestly, I could go on and on about St. Bernard’s.